Lost or Found?

Lost or Found?
I am in a quandary 
Do I stay or go?
I always thought I’d go.
To go was the future
Where all the fun could be
A new life
A blue life
Full of sunshine not shadow.

But now I’m not so sure
Was it all a dream?
Was it real at all?

Was I just still running,
Running not accepting
The world as it is?
Not seeing the beauty
Of everything around me,
Thinking something better 
Is where I want to be.

The pull of the seaside
The seagulls and the waves
Clean air and sandy shores
A new life far away.

I’ve reached a crossroads
A junction in my life
To turn left or right
I really still don’t know

But awareness has landed
Perhaps from outer shores
Am I just still running
To find a different world?

Maybe all that’s needed
Is to look internally.
My world is within me
And wherever I may go
My world will come with me.
There is no escape.

I’ve fallen back in love
With my house, my garden, my birds
And all the tiny creatures who live with me here.

Do I stay or go?
I really still don’t know.

People say to wait and see
See how I feel.
A period of reflection
Is perhaps what I need.

The book is nearly done
How mega is that?
I’m happy and excited,
Proud and so relieved,
But up ahead the crossroads 
Is looming, fast approaching.

A signpost will come I’m sure
From inside or above.
A bright light to show the way
A feeling, a comment or maybe a new love?

I’ll be aware and open 
To events in my life
Until the answer comes to me
And then I’m sure I’ll know
Whether I stay or go.

There’s a sense of surrender
Inner peace and calm
Which is leading me I know
Which way to go.

I have a feeling of quiet
Of freedom and of space.
And deep down I really know
It doesn’t really matter
Whether I stay or go.
You see, inside I have arrived
And found my inner glow.

Events up ahead
Will unfold I am sure
And you’ll have to wait and see
Whether I stay or go!

© 2019 Gill Tembo

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