Hypnotherapy
A scary thought
People strutting as cockerels
And baa’ing as lambs
Up on the stage
A spectacle.

Is this for me?
Is it the answer?
I think I’m OK
But am I?

Friends say ‘no’
See my moods
And my thinking
I’m sad and lost
Covered up by my drinking.

Help is needed I know
Deep down I know,
But not on the surface.

Eight years have past
Since the death of my husband
I’ve read all the books
Devoured others’ stories
Of loss and grief
And how to move on
I tick all the boxes 
And think I’m fine
My behaviour says otherwise.

I grab onto friends
Keen to be needed
Keen to be loved and fit in
One man, then two
Another then four,
All of them not really right.
I’m sticking a plaster
On what’s really the matter
And it takes a while
For clear sight.

Does hypnotherapy man
Have the answer?
Therapy sounds 
Scary and deep.
A pool to dive into
Down, down, keep diving
Into my past way back when.
Grief may be the issue,
But other things surface
Forgotten and overlooked.
Childhood memories,
Relationships and friends
All affecting me now
In a way I had no idea.

I opened a can of worms.
There’s no shutting it now
And I’m not sure I’d want to.
Am I happy or sad I did it?
It’s hard to tell.
It’s had repercussions
There’s no doubt about that,
And my world has moved on from there.
I’m clearer and stronger
Brighter, more loving
Thanks to the work I did then.

Yes, I uncovered events from the past
That were tricky to look at
And hard to work through.
It’s a difficult journey
And a rough one too
But one well worth going through.
The world looks so different
Now to me though
And I am indebted
To hypnotherapy man
For the work he did with me then.
I’ve come through unscathed
Have been incredibly brave
To follow it through to the end.

It is scary
But not up on stage,
Safe in a therapy room.
Closed and private.
Weird things do come up
that seem irrelevant
then a week or two later
the penny drops 
and suddenly all becomes clear.
It’s a series of steps
Just like that
As you move forwards 
And lose the fear.

Once something is noticed
Dealt with, explored
‘Puff’ it is gone
Never to bother you again.
It’s a magical journey
Full of adventure
Twisting and turning along.

Not to rose tint it
When I was in it
I didn’t quite see it that way.
I got angry and sad
Many tears were shed
I threw things and failed to accept.
But slowly, so slowly
The fog cleared around me
And I know for certain
I wouldn’t be where I am,
Without all those hours of therapy,
The anguish, the hurt and the pain.
My subconscious unpicked
I uncovered the truth
Which helped me move on.
To Kick start my journey
And lifted the veil
On the therapy train
That opened new doors and encounters.
It was part of my learning,
A sponge I was then
Absorbing and reading
And slowly seeing
My world in a different way.

© Gill Tembo 
2019