One night, I went to find self-love
Amid a sister circle
A group of women
Coming together
To embrace our femininity.

It felt so right 
To be there that night
And soon I realized why.
The meditation hit a chord
A message from beyond,
Or nor so far,
Depending on 
Your own interpretation.

Deep down we went to find
Our favourite spot in nature.
To Watergate Bay went my mind
As on the beach I wandered.
In the distance I could see my womb
The symbol of my femininity.
It was oval, large and strong
On the inside, dark and cozy
Red and purple with comfy chairs
I sat down there
Contemplating womanhood
And all that that entails.

Then to a corner we’re directed
To open a secret a box.
Inside mine a book of poems.
‘Look out of the window
Someone may be there
A friend, a lover, 
A parent or a child'.

Who was there?
Can you guess?
Why Gaban, of course
Looking back at me
What could his message be?

Only to say ‘well done
I’m proud
You’ve worked so hard
And now it’s time
To move on with your life
And live again’.

With tears in my eyes
I waved ‘goodbye’
And came back home
Safe in the knowledge 
I’m on my path.
There’s a reason
That these poems
Came so easily
I’m meant to write them
Don’t you see?
And tell my story.

Some of the women 
I met that night
Had far to go  
On their journey.
I felt so grateful 
To have travelled 
Along that road,
For the guidance I’ve had
And the helping hands,
The healing, the love
And the sense of purpose
The courage to go there
Leaving no stone unturned.

Gaban’s death set me on this path
To open me up to a new way of seeing.
Unearthing me
Knowing me
Uninventing and rebuilding me.

It’s been a beautiful process
And that night
I realized how far I’d come.

Echoing Gaban’s words:
I am proud of me
I’ve worked so hard
I love myself
And I am finally free
I am enough
As are all of we.

So, take courage 
And look inside
To find peace and love
And all things golden
A sense of self
So special, so precious
So beautifully unfolding.



© Gill Tembo, August 2019