Four relationships and a diagnosis …

In my fourth relationship
Since Gaban,
(I really don’t have
A good track record)
I found myself,
Under huge amounts of pressure
Worrying about this man
I’d taken on
When really it was all with him,
Nothing to do with me.
I’d fallen into a familiar pattern
Of worrying about money.
His concerns, not mine.
I took it on though,
It wasn’t forced on me.
I cared beyond all measure
And in the process sadly
My body took the strain.
My right eye buckled
With inflammation
Loss of vision.
A repeat of problems to the left
Some twelve years before.
The year 2000
(six months before Gaban died)
Leaving me with partial vision
In the left,
But thankfully
The right was less severe.
The outcome though
The diagnosis I’d feared 
The neurologist 
Gave me the news,
Multiple sclerosis.

A turning point
A time for change
Time to take stock
And re-evaluate.

It was a shock
And hard to assimilate
But there always is
A silver lining
This I truly believe.

My eyesight is good
Together both eyes work well
And for this I am so grateful.
The DVLA I had to tell.
But this year
For the third time,
I’ve had my licence renewed
For three more years.
A day of joy and celebration!

A new direction I have found
With my health
And self-care regime.
My only aberration
Is doing too much
And suffering overwhelm!
It’s a hard lesson to learn!

It’s six years now
Since that turning point
And it hasn’t always been easy.
I did what I always do
In these situations,
I read about my condition.
Changed my diet,
Cut out (well down) on alcohol 
Apparently, it’s really bad
For the nervous system!

I don’t wear the label,
I look after me:
Have healing sessions
Reiki, Bowen, Reflexology
A regular massage
Are all part of my regime,
With one overriding obsession …
To stay well
Stay healthy
Stay driving
Avoid stress
Enjoy life
Be grateful
Be loving
And SEE the world around me.

© Gill Tembo July 2019

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