It’s true to say 
Yesterday
I was feeling unsupported.
Party planning
Can be trying
And although
I want it so
And know that it must happen,
Deciding this,
Deciding that,
Alone
With no one else
Began to feel
Solitary,
Dare I say it
Lonely!

The universe stepped in
And in my meditation
Two strong arms
Enveloped me
Support and comfort
In abundance
As I leaned back
Into an embrace
So longed for and familiar.
As he rocked me
To and fro
So wonderful a feeling
To share, to feel
To know
He has my back
And loves me so
I’m not along
Although
To have someone
To talk to
Yesterday, would have been
So wonderful.
But let that go
Today I know
Gaban was there
Helping me
With my invite list
Something he’d have found
So much easier than me.
In the end I’m happy
I’ve spread the net
Very wide
To people he knew
And people new
And today
Confirmation
Of all the decisions I have made -
Gaban’s best friend Neil
May make it to the party.
How wonderful will that be
A true reunion day.

I think back to the funeral
And how many people
Came to say goodbye.
Of course,
People drift away
But there are a core few
Who send a card
At Christmastime
And to these people
I’ve extended an invitation
And in doing so
I feel as if
I’ve blown away
My comfort zone,
Never mind expanding it!

But those arms this morning
That warm embrace
That supportive, knowing feeling
Was confirmation
If I needed it,
(and clearly I do),
That I did good
And that makes me so happy.

I cried of course
Who wouldn’t?
Deep, guttural, heart-felt sobs
A release
Of tension and of sadness.
I’m proud though too
Of me and you
And most of all 
So thankful
For all the help I’ve had
To get me to this place
Where meditation
Is my practice
And I can commune
With the Universe
So powerful
In this way,
How lucky am I?

© Gill Tembo, 11 September 2019