Stuck at low tide …

I’ve been in a capsule of time
Stuck at low tide
A special period,
Special to me
My marriage 
Ended abruptly
Held in time
To write my story
Locked in events
Long since past.

Something happened to me
To jolt me back to reality.
I realized
Things have changed
The world has changed
People’s lives have changed
Not always for the better
But change has happened.

I’ve been in my bubble
Safe in a way
In my memories
A world familiar
Times I knew
Protected, comfortable,
Unchangeable, fixed.

I realise
To let this go
As I must
The real world awaits
And this gives me
A feeling of unease.

Everywhere I turn
People and things are telling me
To take my time
Assess the situation
Not to run ahead
To look and listen
Before I plan 
To step into my future.

The future’s on its way though
There is no stopping time
Tick tock goes the clock
And time
Rolls on relentlessly.

My memories stay with me
But now their charge is less
I’m free of those emotions
That could cut me down
With one withering glance,
To a heap on the floor 

It’s a healthy place
Where I am now
A place of transformation
I’m strong and know
I can push through
And go to the place
Where my heart sings.

Leaving the capsule of time behind
But will it ever leave me?
That is the conundrum
Of grief and loss.

To learn to live 
With the capsule
To love it and to cherish it
Knowing it will never leave me
But somehow
In my own way
I must learn to live with it
And reach my own acceptance.

So how far
Have I really come?

© Gill Tembo 16 September 2019

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